Sreya Sanyal’s Experience [she/her]

From Victoria's Secret Angel to owning Victoria's Secret

I think at the start of the WOR, I was very much stuck in pursuing some weird ideal of physical and aesthetic perfection. So when I was going through WOR through the lens of the Swimsuit Model, it was all very nice and pretty and femme and uwu, for the lack of a better word. 

I wanted to look as beautiful as possible, and wanted the same for my score. Looking back, if I had to describe my Swimsuit Model era in a single word, it would be disempowered. 

The Swimsuit Model is photographed because she's pretty, and depends on other people for validation. She's obsessed with aesthetics, pleasing/appealing to the men in her life, and is afraid of unlocking the ugliness within, which is the Eel in this context. 

The 1% on the other hand, holds the world in the palm of her hand. So she doesn't need to appeal to any man, woman, or entity. She own things and people and doesn’t need to appeal to anyone, not even her husband. 

Sure, it's difficult for her to connect to people, but she is infinitely more self-assured and confident. 

I conquer my fears by buying people and situations out. Threatened by a rocky boat? Buy it out. Don't like a relationship? Offer an exorbitant amount of money to keep them at bay. Whatever helps me feel in control. 

But as the piece came together, I/the character experienced an inordinate amount of grief. Because not everyone and everything can bought out, or made aesthetic, just because it's inconvenient, uncomfortable or ugly. And I don’t know how to deal with that, and I think neither does my 1% version. The current score I’m presenting is a manifestation of that grief, of having things in my possession, and watching them slip out of my fingers like sand.