Jeremy Loh’s Experience (Participant) [he/him]
During this programme, I reaffirmed aspects of my identity but at the same time, I was also enlightened to aspects of me that I could afford to work on. Associations that came naturally to me were often memories of significant pitstops in my life. These moments defined me at that moment but also charted my path forward. Yet, as I revisited those memories during this course, I found myself discovering that I was not done with those experiences as I initially thought, and I still had more to do with them. Beyond just utilising these associations to work on myself, I find myself even being able to extend the energies to the people around me.
I am a carer. At least, that is what I tell myself. It is very in my nature to want to care for people around me, but yet, during the ‘care’ exercises, I found myself feeling awkward, uncomfortable and fidgety. That is definitely not care-like. But an interesting point was brought up during our discussions – are you really caring for someone if you care for them in the way you define as care? In fact, could I consider myself selfish because I care for people in the way I feel comfortable even though they may not view my act of care as caring? Perhaps even, they could view my act of care as hostile. This was just one of the many questions we brought up during our discussions which made me stop and ponder.
A connection is minimally 2-way. Otherwise, there is just no bond if everything is centred around yourself. And as the course progressed, I find myself being able to extend my energy more and more to the people around me as I continued to push the boundaries and work on myself. I observe, I react, I care, I grow. Repeat.
That’s the beauty of working on oneself. It is a constantly evolving process. Sometimes, you need to be illogical and break down what can be considered a firm foundation to notice the cracks. And you rebuild the foundation using the same pieces only to find yourself repeating this process over and over again.
