Why is it so important for us to get things “right”?

What even is the “right” answer?

If it’s “right” for you, is it “right” for me?

I’ve been thinking quite deeply about how I often allow myself to be “evaluated” on a daily basis. There’s a score, a grade, or a number for everything. And perhaps, when I don’t meet a certain “standard”, there’s a feeling that I am “falling short”. Or perhaps, it’s not about a number, but about understanding things around me. And about getting answers. Getting answers to the various questions I may have about the events that happen, or about the people whom I encounter. And, because of my education in Singapore, where there are model students, model answers, model essays, and ten-year series (a compilation of past year examination papers and answers) available, at times, I frustrate myself with “getting life right”.

Recently, while training with another human being whom I love, we dialogued about the most basic human need. The desire to connect. And I shared that in my opinion, a bond is something organic. And natural. People want to bond. People want to reach out. A baby naturally reaches out for things. But because of the pressures of society, or perhaps, because of certain unpleasant past events, we stop reaching out, we stop wanting to bond. And a bond as an adult is hence hard to come by. It becomes complicated. We now need CONTRACTS. We complicate things with language, and with conditions, and with agreements, and with clauses, because we are scared to simply reach out — to bond. We start to ask ourselves, and “educate” ourselves with the “right” ways to reach out, the “right” ways to form connections, and the “right” ways to say “hey, I’m human, and I know you are human too. I want to simply be-with you and care with you.”

I seem to be digressing, but I wonder if our desire to “get life right” is motivated by fear. A fear of being less. A fear of losing out. Or, a fear of missing out. How can we begin to wonder and question again without needing answers? How can we simply reach outwards, laugh, and be-with others? And of course, this isn’t the “right” way to live. It’ll be ironic to prescribe a “right” way. I’m wondering about life’s biggest questions myself, and I’m happy to be able to say I have no answers.

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