Darryl’s Experience (Facilitator) [he/him]

I discovered that there’s a fine difference between accepting an aspect of myself so that I am at-one, and ignoring an aspect of myself so that I think that I am at-one with myself. This journey got me to face up to myself - my fears - more specifically, the fear of failing / the fear of disappointing / the fear of being rejected / the fear of being not-enough.

Whenever I step forward - whenever I approach another person - I sometimes wonder what I can bring to that meeting. This is what I have. This is all I have. What I have may be something totally different - totally foreign to you - so why should this matter? How can I really say with conviction that you matter? How can I truly say I love Thou?

I don’t really know the answer. I’m still searching to find that dialogue - that two-way street where one human being can accept another in totality. What is this “total acceptance of another” all about? How can two totally unique human beings who have crafted entirely different places for themselves approach a meeting?

Must the meeting happen at the appointed time? Who appoints the time? Can I trust myself to re-approach a meeting that didn’t happen the last time?

And now, with all of these questions in mind - questions that open up so many pathways for myself - I also wonder how I can tidy things up, so that I can approach a care for self? Perhaps picking up an answer for myself at this specific point in time can be a form of self-care, because at least, at least for me, for this moment, I have an answer or an anchor that I can hold onto. For some form of certainty - some kind of stability. What the heck is this answer though?

It’s hard to find one’s own answers and to decide to craft them because one’s own answers will necessarily be different from everyone else’s. Cos unique mah. Then like that how? Don’t know man. I’m just walking. Can walk with me?